March yourself right over to M-Bar for an increasingly rare incarnation of this legendary "comedy be-in" with Beth + Taylor Negron, Randy & Jason Sklar, Laura Kightlinger @ M-Bar, 1253 N. Vine St. Sat, May 17, 8pm
323-993-3305 or Get Tickets Now
You'll be glad you did!
Express Yourself! UN-CABARET
LABORATORIES
Find your authentic voice and best material in this creative hothouse.
More about the Lab.
1-Day Intensive
May 18 - SOLD OUT
Sunday, July 13 Register now
Sunday, June 1 (1-3pm) Free Seminar with Beth Lapides & Greg Miller
Insights and advice about your creative process + principles and practice of the Un-Cabaret and intro to the workshop. This seminar is free, but reservations are required. Call 323-993-3305 RSVP here
NEW!
Why aren't they laughing?! Find out the 8 main problems - and dozens of ways to fix them with The Un-Cabaret Comedy Diagnostic. Half-hour mp3 download only $15! What's my problem? Free sample
SALE-TOPIA!
The Other Network Writers Room
33% OFF - Singles only $15, all 9 mp3s only $99 or CDs for $140!! Top comedy writers tell all in this invaluable series. Write on!
UN-CABARET PODCASTS
Download greatest hits from our live shows. Un-Cab Podcasts
THE OTHER NETWORK WRITERS ROOM
Top writers tell all in this unique comedy resource! Open sesame!
The World Is So Exciting Right Now!)
(TWISERN!)
Earth Signs...
The first crop circles of '08 have appeared and it's really hard to ignore the fact that either the Earth itself is trying to tell us something, or someone/thing is using the Earth to tell us something. Either one sounds pretty exciting to us.
Mainstream media is virtually useless beyond debating 'if they're hoaxes'. Sure, we track the 'news', but when you want to know what's really new you've got to check in with amazing 'edge science' reporters like Linda Moulton Howe.
Earthfiles.com
Goodbye Mr. Pain!
Let us introduce you to this simple antidote to shoulder, neck and back pain. Set of 2 specially-designed therapy balls + an audio CD that talks you through simple exercises to loosen muscles, un-knot nerves and generally offset the physical and mental strains of this exciting world! Balls!
Senses Working Overtime!
Out of Sight!
We know you think we're kidding about the crop circles, but summer is the season when they appear every year in England and we're really this close to buying tickets.
The circles apparently generate significant measurable electromagnetic anomlies. And their frequency has been steadily increasing every year! Why? Leading to something...? We want to know! Ignore the cheesy music and check out some of these images.
Circle the Wagons! You're so 2007!
In Touch
Too much desk-sitting and computer-using? Pain in your hand-arm-shoulder-neck? Uh... yeah! We've been balling ourselves right out of pain with Jill Miller's Yoga Tune Up Balls. She's a great teacher and her recorded material is really good and clear - even if you don't do much yoga. Have a Ball!
Now Hear This
We've talked before about tuning forks (sound = vibration = everything!). We're super fans of the 'Solfeggio scale' (made famous in Sound of Music as Do Re, etc. but minus the darker, more mysterious 'Ut' (396 Hz). The scale also includes 'Mi' (528 Hz) which is not only every performers' favorite tone (ha ha), but is supposedly now being used in labs for DNA repair!? They sound pretty too. Good vibes!
p.s. - Use the mallet not the weird rubber triangle. Haven't found a good stand yet. We just hold them between our fingers and whack.
Pick Up the Scent
A Holy Trinity of N's for your Nasal Happiness: Neti, Nettle and Nasaya. Together or separately, all three will clear your sinuses - and your mind! btw, the Neti Pot doesn't feature the lotus as depicted, but it sure works. Check out other excellent bargains on VitaCost too. Nettle also works great for itchy eyes or allergic reactions - especially in conjunction with Quercetin.
Taste Test
Industrial toothpaste and mouthwash are evil At very least they dry your mouth out way too much. We suspect they do much worse and are part of the hideous medical-industrial conspiracy that has taken over. Ignore the cheesy website and try this stuff. It totally works. More flavor!
Crop Tops
We've heard about crop circles before and kind of dismissed them. Then we took a closer look and wow!
We started noticing some uncanny parallels between this un-precedented environmental art phenomenon (or is it alien communications?) and the Un-Cabaret! Compare the legendary comedy show with the mysterious circles and see for yourself...
- There are imitation Un-Cab shows that seem similar but the energy is very different.
- The circles have been experienced by thousands of people with frequent reports of intense cosmic vibration, heightened awareness and giddiness!
- Un-Cabaret has been experienced by thousands of people with frequent reports of intense comic vibration, heightened awareness and giddiness!
- Circles form in under two hours but you can feel the resonance long after.
- Un-Cabaret forms in under two hours but you can feel the resonance long after.
- Circles are created entirely from live organic material (crops).
- Un-Cabaret is created entirely from live organic material (humans).
- The circles can blow your mind even in pictures.
- Un-Cabaret can blow your mind even in recordings.
- Circles have been reported around the world, but congregate in southern England on specific 'ley lines' that create an energy grid through the earth.
- Un-Cabaret mostly happens at M-Bar in Hollywood, site of no known ley lines or special spiritual grid, but the whole mini-mall including El Floridita next door does have a really good vibe!
Experiment... Experience... Exciting!
One of the things that's so exciting right now is how we've entered a period of openings: minds, hearts, software! Open source? Open sesame!
Openness is a willingness to experiment. To see things as process. And all sorts of people, not just scientists, are doing all sorts of experiments. In much the same way as all sorts of people, not just musicians, are making music and all sorts of people, not just athletes, are working out!
I'm talking about experiments in how much credit card debt you can live with before you freak out or how many green products it takes to make you feel unguilty about even being alive on earth.
There are experiments afoot about the very nature of life and the very nature of reality. About how science and woo-woo are not that different. Experimentation may be the way to bridge our left-brain culture with our right-brain culture (and of course there are lots of amazing brain experiments going on to help!)
One very exciting thing that's going on is the work of Lynn McTaggart, author of "The Intention Experiment", an amazing book that gives an overview of many mind-body experiments, including this:
Apparently there's a device called a Random Event Generator (code name: EGG! something's about to hatch). It's basically an electronic coin-toss that generates statistically 50/50 results.
Princeton University organized a world-wide network of these Eggs to monitor what happens when events with global impact occur. And guess what?
When Princess Diana died, every New Years Eve, anytime there was a mass experience, the EGGs totally spike away from their statistical norms!
And the EGGs wnt nuts on 9-11. In fact, there was a huge synchronized global EGG response, before the towers were hit! These experiments are providing proof of the 'Collective Consciousness' or 'Group Mind'.
Of course many of us don't need that proof. Many of us (like Beth) had profoundly awful dreams the night before 9/11. We know in ways that we can't explain that we're all connected. And the quality of this knowingness is just starting to be explored, experienced, experimented with in the mainstream. We find this pretty exciting!
If you'd like to be part of a the group doing accountable work on how to use this collective unconscious energy intentionally check out
The Intention Experiment.
If you'd like to open your mind to your whole life being an experiment, or the fact the we might be someone elses experiment (more on this next time) then please do! And let us know how it's going!
Love Vibrations
Here's an alternate way to celebrate Valentine's Day this year. Join World Sound Healing Day. Say 'AH'...!
We love the vibes from our tuning forks. They clear the air and raise our frequency. According to some, the tones of the Solfeggio scale literally created the material world. Maybe that's why the Catholic church tried to supress it! Solfeggi-oh!
Oil = Love!
Beth read that in ancient Sanskrit they used the same word for 'Love' as for 'Oil'. We're currently in love with an herbal oil called OraMD. We uses it as toothpaste and mouthwash and it really seems great for our gums. Take that, American Dental Association! Smile!
If we can't get the corporations out of Iraq, let's at least get them out of our bodies!
Superfood Update
People asked, so here's the recipe* for the latest batch of Beth's Super-Balls for Boys - featuring those zinc-ful prostate-tickling Pepitas aka Pumpkin Seeds:
1/2 cup Pepitas
2 tb. Cocanut Shreds
2 tb. Cacao Nibs
1 or 2 Dates
1 tsp. Agave
Mix in a food processor. Mush into balls. Eat. Evolve...
* All measurements are totally approximate. Beth works mostly in squirts and handfuls. Lucky me!
Do you need glasses to read this? We used to but we don't anymore. Why? Super-foods!
One thing that's really exciting about the world right now is the new availability of ancient super-foods! Those adorable little chia seeds. Husky cacao. Camu Camu and its mysterious sight-enhancing properties. And those goji berries which are, let's face it, just weird. These foods are packed with amazing nutritionals that never make it onto the food labels. And of course the food labels leave out the ying yang qualities of food. And the amino acids and the vibrational qualities. Not to mention sourcing.
If we can't get the corporations out of Iraq, let's at least get them out of our bodies.
Sometimes instead of a Larabar, we make our own with cocao nibs, chia seeds, coconut and agave sweetener and flax seed. There's more to chew and less to throw away, less guilt about eating and tons of anti-oxidents. In fact the antioxidants in cacao are apparently both highly stable and easily available to human metabolism. Some smarty pants at Cornell University found that cacao powder has nearly twice the antioxidants of red wine (although we aren't giving that up!*) and up to three times what is found in green tea.
There's also a chemical in cacao called Phenylethylamine (PEA), that increases the activity of neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) in parts of the brain that control our ability to pay attention and stay alert. PEA is noticeably abundant in the brains of happy people. Another thing that is super about this super food!
It's not all bad news out there! DNA activation, crop circle messaging, Amazonian superfoods. Tell us about the things you think are exciting in the world right now. Send us your links or tips
Beth of Both Worlds (May Issue)
I used to be a total yoga snob. So when one of my yoga-friends reappeared in our world-class class and confessed she'd been 'doing yoga at the gym', I thought, 'Gym Yoga?! I would never do gym yoga!' She was back now, because she'd been injured. Sure, gym yoga! Only a fool would do gym yoga!
Then my living situation changed and I couldn't make it to my world-class class five times a week. Or even four. Or sometimes even once. I did everything I could. I rushed away from things before they had ended, I over extended, I pretended. Basically, I fought the flow that I had worked so hard to learn in my practice.
When I did get to class, my yoga-friends would ask where I'd been.
"Practicing at home," I would say. I could see that pitying 'I would never give up these classes' look in their eyes.
"Isn't it lonely," they would ask.
"Oh no," I would say. But it was lonely. Yes, I tried downloads and CDs. I embraced the joy of listening to my own body and being my own teacher. Still, lonely.
In desperation I bought one of those day-glo rave hoola hoops...
Open Sesame!
You know how they are always saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Do you think they realize that saying that over and over will just keep driving people crazy!!! Because let's face it sometimes doing things over and over and expecting different results is called patience!
It's a fine line between between patient and stubborn. And which side am I on? I am always checking. I've learned that patience feels different than stubborness. Patience feels like things are changing but so very slowly that you can not see the quanta of change.
Like once I was at the Grand Canyon watching the sun set and I could see that the shadows were moving but I could never see them move.
Of course maybe I was just distracted by the Coke-drinking cookie-eating foursome recounting that day's episode of Ellen, segment by segment by... oh God and now the sun has set.
That's how patience feels. Stubborness hurts. All I want. No what is. All try. No flow.
The way out of stubborness is to experiment. Go a different way. Think a different thought. Use a different word. Try a different lipstick. Eat a different breakfast.
Some people call it life hacking. Some people call it tweaking things. Some people call it change.
Change is the most loaded of these words. We all know it's hard to change. Changing makes you unhappy. But you have to change in order to be happy. Life is change.
So in order to be happy you have to be unhappy! What?!
I think it's easier to think of it as being open (see TWISERN!) than changing. When i was going through my own page 90 low point a few years ago I tried everything. New projects, redecorating, meditating. The one thing I didn't try was admitting that my life wasn;t working.
Luckily, that's when we were evicted. And so we did an experiment and made a radical change. Bought a house in VELA (Very East LA - you might know it as Palm Springs).
People ask us how we like Palm Springs. But it's not so much whether we like it here. We like bouncing back and forth. The movement. The not feeling stuck. The openess. The experimental part.
Experiment is connected to experience. And from the time I heard Jimi Hendrix ask me if I was experienced I knew I wanted to be. I just read that Jimi Hendrix believed he was a messenger from elsewhere. Sounds true. I'm going to experiment with believing it. With believing there is an elsewhere. To bounce back and forth between. Patiently!
xoxo
b
Modern Love
Greg and I have always had a lot of policies. And we like to keep changing them.
For many years we rejected Valentine's Day. We just thought no. They can not tell us when to love. And how to love. And whom to love. No! And luckily Greg felt the same way.
Then last year we decided it was more important to say yes to love than no to Hallmark. So last year Greg started getting me Valentine's Day presents and he got me some Mighty Magnets. He said they reminded him of me.
Why, because they're small and strong? I asked. No, he said, hard and clingy.
Love Bugs
Laughing makes me happy. And performing for laughing people makes me even happier. Last week I did both at the "Love Bugs" show at the Skirball and I asked Greg to bounce a few clips so you could enjoy them too.
The full performances are about to enter The Un-Cab Audio Archive where they'll join an unparalleled collection of modern comedy readings & standup from our shows. Say the Word!
Go Changin'
Greg and I have what we call a very 'go changin' relationship. We were both like, find someone who loves you the way you are and still thinks there's some room for improvement. And has some good ideas!
We don't buy into that whole Billy Joel mentality. The whole 'don't go changin' thing. Of course change is hard, but you have to change to become yourself. All the time. You really can't be happy unless you are yourself and the Self that you are keeps changing. But change makes you unhappy, so ultimately you have to be unhappy in order to be happy!
And that is why it is never bad to have someone there cheering you on. A spouse or a friend or an angel or a sister. Someone who loves you and sees you blooming. And why you should do it for others. And for everything.
In fact we are always cheering our flowers on. Good for you greg will say as they open their petals in abundant fullness. Go horsetails I cheerlead as we watch them come back from last summers decimating heat. Cheer on what is growing around you and it will cheer you on. And that goes for the people you love too!
